Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Actresses that can't act, pretend to design sh*t instead.

That’s right folks, that pesky label of actress is too restricting for some these days, and for some I mean those ‘actresses’ that cannot and simply do not actually ‘act’ anymore. No, acting? That’s too much like work, that takes too much of a thing called talent. No. Can’t find a job? Movies constantly bombing with the public? Generally feeling like a bit of a useless star-fucker?
Simple solution to your problem.

  Become a designer.

Now, going to university to study this craft? Bah, that’s so last century. All that’s needed these days to call yourself a fashionista is to steal.
Sure some people get hauled off to court for it, but no, not our little honey’s of Hollyweird.  They simply get praise and photographed and arse-kissed more so than usual with a new title to their name.
Who is this you may ask? Well, just think of two or three actress - all extremely bland, all extremely similar in their fail, all extremely smug for just about no reason that anyone can actually think of.
I mean I know when my friends and I had no jobs and absolutely no decent job prospects, the last thing we looked was smug. But then again we haven’t been having an affair with botox since our late teens…

Kate Bosworth, yes remember her? No? Well for those of us on the Euro side of the pond, she’s that girl that’s famous for looking like a tween and fucking famous men… ring a bell? No, not Sienna, the Yank version of Sienna. Yes… her. The one Orlando Bloom upgraded from. Got it now?

Good.

The Bo is now a designer, no I shit you not. She and her friend and ‘stylist’ Cher something-or-other have decided to kill some time between her box office bombs and like, design.
I use that word loosely however since one peek at their collection and it’s like we’re all five years old again, you know - threaded rope bracelets - because she was seen at a festival or something trying to channel her ’Swedish’ style (pink and silver and like, so chic don’t you know.) Pebble looking earrings, because she went to Sweden and of course now that she has a Swedish boyfriend she will have to morph herself into what he wants, and that’s a fake Swede, right?

Of course.

Anyone else think they look distinctly Primark?



Untitled from Kerry Pieri on Vimeo.

I'm not kidding, I got this in topshop two years ago.

Equally as questionable in her calling as an actress is, Rachel Bilson. Now, don't get us wrong, we loved her as Summer Roberts in The OC, but then again that's back when both she and Misha Barton had a career, and her sanity intact. But now?

Well… 

 Why is she photographed all the time, doing the most boring of boring stuff about town? Going to the doctors, going to the post office, going to the store? Who cares again, I barely care when I'M doing these things, I care even less when someone as irrelevant as RB is doing it. But, apparently some people do care and it’s these people that the nice people over at DKNY  Jeans must be aiming for since they’ve asked dear talented RB to design a capsule collection called Edie Rose. She was at a Macy’s in Florida pimping her ‘designs’ and as Lainey points out, these too look a tad familiar do they not?
*Raises Eyebrow*

So, ladies, who needs to work for a living? Let us all just take ‘inspiration’ from these women shall we? Like they take their 'inspiration' from every other actual talent designer on the planet! Let’s whore out or names and our limited talents and make a mint, a Jewelmint.

… Or not.
Sarcastically yours, The BHB. Xox

3 comments:

  1. I officially love you and will be reading every day from now on. *This* to all of it.

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  2. That's great to hear! Stick around!! :D

    ReplyDelete